Other Peoples' Wisdom and my Dreams

Few Things. You'll get descriptive travel tales soon, we're hoping.

But for now, two things.

First, we hung with these Aussie chicks in Barcelona. One of them was an accupuncturist and an alternative nutritionist. She studied alternative medicine in both Australia and China. We talked about and worked on my knee, in various ways while I was there. At one point, we're having like a 1.5 hr consultation about the natural remedies I can start experimenting with, and she was talking about treatments that only releive pain, or temporarily treat a problem, and that I have to figure out what in my life is making me knee hurt. That the injury, that pain, is never only physical. Since my injury literally prevents me from moving, what is preventing me from moving?

I can't say I believed much in the metaphysical stuff prior, but you are forced to become so in tune with the nuances of your injury, especially when it feels that no one else can really help you but your self, and it becomes quite too obvious that ALL forms of the human being are tied up together at all points and when put under stress, you will realize and need to realize (and access all parts of) this intertwining.

So I've been thinking since the trip, "What is the real cause of this injury? What is holding me back from my movement as a person?" I'm starting to know what this is, but the things that I'm learning, I am going to keep between me, myself and I. This knowledge is only for the self. This battle I want to keep within me, for now.

1.5 : Today I went to my yoga class. Upon my walk my knee started killing me. I attempted to go to class yesterday, too, but had to turn around during the walk because the knee was hurting too severely. [This current intense pain is due to running many blocks in Barcelona with my backpack in my back in order to jump a bus heading to the airport. We didn't want to miss our flight, but as a result, my knee is rather desecrated]. Today it hurt a little less, and I decided I would at least try it and see what happens. At about my 3rd suryanamaskaram, I stop, stand still. I just can't do this class. I know it will be bad idea for me knee. The teacher walks over. She wants to help me. I tell her, no no its okay I'll just leave..I can't do the class. I also didn't want to pay for the class since I wouldn't be able to fully participate. She insisted that I stay and she proceeded to lead me through my own restorative yoga class while she SIMULTANEOUSLY taught a regular Asthanga class to the rest of the room. She was and is simply amazing. I have had so many yoga teachers in my day and she might be the best. Granted, I have never NEEDED a really good yoga teacher like I do right now, and I have never needed a yoga teacher to be receptive to my being in the way that Paula seems to be tuned into my depths like I do right effing now. I am so happy and so at peace and so pleased that I could do a class, that I did it, that I stuck around, and that I had that experience of practicing 1.5 hours of yoga, instead of doing anything else. AFter class, Paula and I talked a lot, and finally when she got to the point where she said that "You simply can NOT leave when your knee hurts. Do you know how bad it feels to leave a class, to give up? Yoga is about all parts of a person. I don't want you to feel bad. That will not help an injury". I cried a little and she gave me besos when I left. I am so grateful to have even just one more month with her.

Two: In Spain occassionally I have these dreams where I wake up knowing that I was in deep love in the dream, and it was one of the most profound, fulfilling feelings ever. I wake up with that feeling still there. This happened last night.

So much is realized in retrospect.