The End is Near and Nigh

The most lessons you learn, those that you will really impliment into the reality of your existence, lessons which you will actually use to perform the act which you will be responsible for above all over things: living--you learn not inside the classroom. Yes, the real lessons, the really hard stuff (because you must understand, interlize, perform and then entirely actualize) you learn by doing; you learn by trying. I had a very late night conversation with a good friend Matt Freese via Skype the other night and one thing we discussed has stuck with me the past few days. Matt, who is I think 1.5 yrs old than myself spoke of how the real challenge--a challenge that he didn't realize until he had to do the starting to live life thing--, is implimenting ideas. For example, Matt said that he wants to live a happy, healthy and full life, but what does that mean. What are the components of a happy, healthy, full life, and how do we put that together from day to day? In college they do a great job of teaching us how to come up with great ideas, and that's the start, but what about actualizing those things? There are the few kids who really do push forth and grapple with that in college--the Student Senate presidents, the pioneers of new organizations, kids throwing the large, school-wide events, etc. There are some ways to get that experience in college, but when you leave college, EVERYTHING suddenly becomes one of those tasks where you have to impliment ideas you have in to action, into a feasable, tangeable, live-able reality. Otherwise, they are just ideas floating around, and while they can often be poetic and beautiful in their immateriality and ephemereality, they can only be poetic if coupled with actualized endeavours. Otherwise, they are just unrealistic and almost (can I say this? will you kill me?) sad.

This, in combination with things Sophie and I were saying during a quick chat, re: "Nobody tells you _______ (specifically pertaining to like after college)"...The secret life after school-life, where the main challenge is that NOBODY tells you anything. You must peice it together with the ammunition you've got, that you've gained, and they you can find availible to you. (Another thing I've learned [sidenote]: So much is availible to you. You just must know where to find it and how to get it. The WORLD is availible to you. Look for what you want. Find it hiding in the creavasses and grab it, tightly, like a lizzard trying to get away, and examine it, try it, do it).

Wow. How much this past year has changed me. It's almost May, which means the full year anniversary of alumni-hood. I feel so much older in an age-grants-wisdom kind of way.

Spain is coming to an end rather soon and I simply can't believe it. Time flies, always. I've had to start getting into next-phase-of-my-life gear and that could land me honestly anywhere. I'm looking at opportunies in the following cities: STL, Chi, SF, NYC, Boston (these cities bc they are places where I could potentially lives cheaply with housing hook-ups), with the openness for something INTL should I come across it (but I'm not aiming for it, principally). STL is the most likely candidate because I feel that I must return home to a place where I can slow down and deal with the injury before I can ever regain my strength (all ways?) again. I hope this is a true thing and a wise idea. Because, honeslty, I'd rather not be home. The thought of sleeping in that same bedroom gives me chills--literally chills. Although I will be fiercely ecstatic to see MarieKevKyleLaurenEmanCourtDanDanielLindsmyFamily and all the other crazy folks that I love in St. Louis. All of you.

So it could be a good summer if I can find some meaningful things to do, and if I can check knee-healing off of my list of things to have completed in life.

My mom used to sing this to me when I was a kid. It beats within my heart, consequently. Amazing how everything effects us so deeply when we are children. This is something I have learned teaching here.

People
People who need people
are the luckiest people
in the world

(Listen to the song!)

Next trip: Thursday morning (EARLY) I head out to Barcelona for 5 days! Ya.